Diver attempts sex with giant clam – is hospitalized.

A scuba diver had some embarrassing explaining to do when he was hospitalized after allegedly attempting to have sex with a clam.

The injured diver was taken to Ka’u hospital on mainland Hawaii after the incident occurred.



Shortly after inserting his penis into the clam ‘for a joke’, the recreational scuba diver began suffering from extreme swelling, breathing complications, vomiting, and low blood pressure.

Upon being tested at the hospital, doctors also found an alarmingly high amount of the poisonous substance arsenic in the divers body.

He was quite unwell when he was admitted, but after being treated b y amused hospital staff, the man has since made a full recovery.



The man has since spoken to reporters about his ordeal, and has thankfully seen the funny side.

He said:

“It was just a joke at first. My friend was filming so I wanted to impress him and put my dick into the clam, but then it just wouldn’t let go,”

The whole experience has been explained by the man admitting that he had taken some illegal substances prior to going scuba diving. He admitted that he was high on GHB and ecstasy during his diving experience.

He has even admitted that he kind of enjoyed his time with the clam.

He said:

“It didn’t hurt or anything, it felt warm and cozy inside the clam, but I was afraid my oxygen reserves were getting low,”

Clams eat by dissolving anything that they can get their shell around, sucking in food from the surrounding sea and turning it into a meal. This clam must have thought it had got lucky when an unwitting meal forcibly entered the feeding zone.

Doctors say that dangerously, the clam had staring the process to dissolve and digest the mans reproductive organs, and this is what caused the severe allergic reaction and the swelling.

One of the doctors who treated the man said it was the fist case he had seen where human body parts had been damaged by giant clams in this way.

He told reporters:

“Allergies to seafood are fairly common and usually occur after ingestion of fish or shellfish, not after sexual intercourse with shellfish,”

So if you have a seafood allergy, you might want to make sure your body parts don’t get mixed up with clams while you are diving in the ocean. Better still, just don’t put your dick into a sea creature.